On this week’s episode of the Podcast, guest James Harris, a therapist in Richmond, VA and best-selling author of Man Just Express Yourself, discussed pregnancy and infant loss with me from the male partner perspective. Having had my own pregnancy loss, I’ve done dozens of interviews on how I felt… how I coped and moved forward. However, I was seldom asked about what my husband felt or how he coped with our pregnancy loss. I mean, he lost a baby, too! Why didn’t anyone want to know his perspective?
Perhaps no one asked about my husband, who’s name is also James, ironically, because perhaps interviewers felt that it would be insensitive to explore someone else’s feelings when I was directly dealing with the physical trauma of the loss. Maybe society expects for men to just be emotionally strong and just support us as women. But, although men might not cry in front of us, lay in bed with cramps from the procedure, or be the person that physically had the miscarriage, they have still lost a baby. That loss deserves acknowledgement. They, too, deserve time to heal from the child they had or could have had and the person the child will never become.
James and I discussed so much on the podcast this week, more than just pregnancy and infant loss. I’m very familiar with the stages of grief but learned so much about what those stages look like for many of our men. We also discussed cases to help listeners cope with their marriages and what they can do to be emotionally ready, together, to have another child. Make sure to listen and subscribe.
Also, the book, Man Just Express Yourself, is available on Amazon and on James’ website. It’s a journal and workbook for men to identify goals, express themselves, and learn from their habits. This book motivates men to achieve emotional strength and self-improvement. Ladies, I purchased the book for my husband, and it opened up dialogue about our pregnancy loss and things we’ve dealt with in our marriage almost immediately. See information below to purchase your copy for your mate and to learn more about Men to Heal, the movement!